eBook Make Peace With Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement download

This is a self-help book on how to positively resolve the intractable differences that sometimes arise in our relationships, whether it is with family or friends or on the job. There is even a section on how to help resolve the differences between other people.

As with Dr. Lieberman’s other books, this one consists of a series of short sections covering various types of interpersonal situations with suggested steps to bring them under control. Although the sections are no longer than in the other books, they seem to be more to the point somehow. Perhaps because the focus is narrower. Many of the suggested steps for the various types of disagreements are similar or exactly the same, but a lot of this is because the causes are often similar despite the differences in the situations.

Some of the frequently suggested steps for resolving conflicts include apologizing, demonstrating respect, showing regret and pain, and asking for forgiveness. You will rarely make much headway in ending a conflict if you insist that you are totally in the right and that the other person must yield to your control.

Additionally, he includes a better definition of respect, self-respect, and self-esteem than I have seen anywhere else. This book is good enough that

I may just keep it. After all, who doesn’t occasionally need to be able to resolve their conflicts with other people?

The advice given here will work with people who are unintelligent but basically decent. It can backfire badly with genuinely evil or cognitively defective people. The title overpromises; the author admits that nothing can work with unreasonable people.

If you want simplistic solutions to complex relationship problems, then perhaps you will like this book. David Lieberman has great knowledge, but he seems to feel that 1 or 2 page solutions to major problems will satisfy his audience and actually achieve lasting results. Perhaps they do for some people, but I ended every brief chapter with a scratch of the head and a "yes, but..."

David Lieberman has written a practical book that gets down to the bottomo of addressing many personal conflicts. He understands that the real issue is Self-esteem. When a person feels his or her self-esteem threatened, conflict emerges. When a person's self-esteem is protected, conflict is lessened or resolved.
The first three chapters, though short, are worth the purchase price of the book. One interesting quotation, typical of the first few chapters, reads as follows: "The barometer that determines how annoyed, frustrated, or angered we become with others in any given situation is based on the degree to which we feel in control of ourselves and our lives. Our respect for ourselves, in short, determines (a) the amount of respect we crave from others and (b) our need to push for control and dominance."

Lieberman offers some very practical advice to help readers address a variety of conflict situations, providing simple but effective illustrations from real life examples.

As a seasoned pastor (over 25 years in the ministry) who has been involved in all sorts of conflict situations, I have deduced a number of principles (explained clearly by Lieberman) over the years the hard way, through the school of hard knocks. Wish this book was around years earlier.

On the negative side, the author makes unrealistic promises in some of the chapter's sub-titles, and even the title of the book is somewhat deceptive, "Make Peace with Anyone." Yet, in the text itself, the author clearly states that some situations have no real solutions. The book would be better if it did not promise complete success in all situations.

I also have a few ethical problems with the book. Lieberman, in some instances, advocates lying. Then, in the last chapter, he claims that the Bible advocates lying to end conflict, an assertion I challenge. Relathionships that cannot espouse truth are not worth maintaining. Addtionally, when one discovers that another has lied, a greater conflict can emerge.

Lieberman also encourages saying nice things about the offended person to a third party so that it gets back around. That just doesn't sit well with me.

On the other hand, people do need to feel listened to and respected, and Lieberman shines in that department. It is great to ask others for advice, and that seems a more legitimate measure to show the offended party that we do indeed respect them (unless we in fact do not!).

He also claims that the Bible teaches Aaron was more popular than Moses because Aaron counseled couples separately when they were having marriage problems (p.108). I have never seen anything even resembling that in Scripture; perhps he confuses the Bible with Talmudic Jewish tradition.

Although Lieberman constantly reinforces his warning not to use these techniques to manipulate others or out of insincere motives, no doubt some will try. But that is not the author's fault: he seems to have a truly humble attitude; those who thusly abuse his advice will find that insincere application of his techniques will backfire. Nobody likes a weasely person.

Despite its flaws, the author has great insights into the realities of human nature. A very helpful book that cuts to the core of the matter.

This is a really good book and if you apply it, this will work. The teaching require the reader to make a commitment to the process and the real change come from the reader, NOT the intended target. Keep in mind some of the verbiage/style won't exactly suit everyone but if you adhere to the principles and use your own words...it spot on. It's a real thinker and worth the read.

This book goes way beyond making peace with difficult people. It's a fantastic guide to understanding and getting along with every person you interact with. This will help with office politics, family politics, intimate relationships, friendships, dealing with bureaucrats, retail clerks, etc., etc. I first checked out the book from the library but found myself going back to it repeatedly to review the concepts. I finally decided to buy my own copy. Just after my book arrived and I started reading it again, a friend came over to help me with a health problem. She's a retired school psychologist with some complicated family relationships and once she eyed the book, she didn't want to put it down. So I gave her the book and ordered another for myself! One bit of warning: This book is not for prideful or thin-skinned people who need to prove they are right and who have to "win." Humility, empathy, and a willingness to take the high road without recognition are prerequisites to improved relationships. However, these principles really do work!

excellent book

Lieberman succeeds at making psychology practical unlike many other social psychologists.

Appreciate the emohasis on responsible use of the tactics here