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eBook The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing download

by Daniel Bergner

eBook The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing download ISBN: 0060885564
Author: Daniel Bergner
Publisher: Ecco (January 1, 2009)
Language: English
Pages: 224
ePub: 1450 kb
Fb2: 1757 kb
Rating: 4.1
Other formats: mbr rtf lrf lrf
Category: Health and Diets
Subcategory: Psychology and Counseling

Other Books by Daniel Bergner

Other Books by Daniel Bergner.

Daniel Bergner is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and the author of three previous nonfiction books: The Other Side of Desire; In the Land of Magic Soldiers, a Los Angeles Times Best Book of the Year an. .

Daniel Bergner is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and the author of three previous nonfiction books: The Other Side of Desire; In the Land of Magic Soldiers, a Los Angeles Times Best Book of the Year and winner of an Overseas Press Club Award and a Lettre Ulysses Award for the Art of Reportage; and God of the Rodeo . Thousands of books are eligible, including current and former best sellers.

Daniel Bergner is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and the author of three previous nonfiction books: The Other Side of Desire; In the Land of Magic Soldiers, a Los Angeles Times Best Book of the Year and winner of an Overseas Press Club Award and a Lettre Ulysses.

Daniel Bergner is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and the author of three previous nonfiction books: The Other Side of Desire; In the Land of Magic Soldiers, a Los Angeles Times Best Book of the Year and winner of an Overseas Press Club Award and a Lettre Ulysses Award for the Art of Reportage; and God of the Rodeo, a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. He lives in Brooklyn, New York. Библиографические данные. The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing.

Daniel Bergner - image from his site. What if you were wired to have sexual desires that were considered odd, bizarre, maybe even criminal? Bergner looks at four people whose needs are not like yours and mine. Daniel Bergner’s new work on sexuality, The Other Side of Desire, garnered a considerable amount of press before it was released thanks to an adapted excerpt from the book published in the New York Times under the title, What Do Women Want? Many feminists were disgruntled by the piece, which included University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV) professor Marta Meana’s insistence of narcissism in the role of female arousal.

Daniel Bergner looks for answers in the stories of four people whose longings are very different from our . Other readers will always be interested in your opinion of the books you've read

Daniel Bergner looks for answers in the stories of four people whose longings are very different from our own: a devoted husband burdened by an insatiable foot fetish, a clothing designer who finds ecstasy in the pain of others, a man smitten with his young stepdaughter, and an advertising director who casts traditionally beautiful models but who is attracted only to amputees. Other readers will always be interested in your opinion of the books you've read. Whether you've loved the book or not, if you give your honest and detailed thoughts then people will find new books that are right for them.

Subtitled Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing, Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire is a literary exploration of science and sex that will appeal to readers of Mary Roach and Natalie Angier. A cross between a top-rated HBO series provocatively graphic sex, humorous dialogue, and moral ambiguity, (New York Times) and a profound, deeply humanizing study of sexuality, The Other Side of Desire has been called, a foray into extreme passion, in quest of the human soul (O, The Oprah Magazine) and its author, Bergner, a keen storyteller but above all a humane.

Daniel Bergner, 48, the divorced father of two teenage children, is what sexologists would call a straight, vanilla .

Daniel Bergner, 48, the divorced father of two teenage children, is what sexologists would call a straight, vanilla teleiophile. An article on Saturday about the book The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys Into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing, by Daniel Bergner, referred incorrectly to an enterprise of a woman known as the Baroness who is interviewed in the book. While she hosts what she describes as New York’s longest-running fetish party, she does not run an S&M dungeon.

“Riveting….Powerful…as much about desire and what’s normal as it is an exploration of why we are the way we are, whether we like it or not.”

—New York Times Book Review

 

Subtitled “Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing,” Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire is a literary exploration of science and sex that will appeal to readers of Mary Roach and Natalie Angier. A cross between “a top-rated HBO series [with] provocatively graphic sex, humorous dialogue, and moral ambiguity,” (New York Times) and a profound, deeply humanizing study of sexuality, The Other Side of Desire has been called, “a foray into extreme passion, in quest of the human soul” (O, The Oprah Magazine) and its author, Bergner, “a keen storyteller but above all a humane one” (Salon.com).

Comments: (7)
Anaragelv
Q: What's the difference between weird and kinky?
A: Weird is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

That's essentially what you get with this book, but what is weird, and what is kinky? Where's the break line, and who gets to define where the line is? What is it like if you're on the "wrong" side?

I came to this book after reading Mary Roach's outstanding Bonk. The two are very different in content and approach, but the core subject is still the same, and the two complement each other quite well. I recommend Roach's book be read first, one because it's better written and more entertaining, and two because it's a better overview and serves as a good foundation from which to explore.

This book is about what Bergner calls "eros," the fringes of desire, or to be much more direct, sexual desire. The heart of the book asks what is a fetish, and when does it become a liability? How does one end up saddled with an overpowering fetish, or urge? And most importantly, is such a fetish normal or abnormal?

There are four real-world observations--these aren't nearly direct and detail-laden enough to be called "case studies"--on that edge. One reader will call these people sick or twisted or even evil, while another might just place them in the decidedly flatter areas of the traditional bell curve of human sexuality. Bergner's biggest success in this book is that he provides no solid judgment of his own as to whether these folks are wrong/right or normal/deviant; the reader is left to make that determination, if such a determination is even appropriate.

This is definitely an adult read, 18+. This is not a book about sex freaks, no parade of the sick, twisted and thoroughly abnormal, which may disappoint some. While not prurient or jaw-dropping--the coprophilia bit might wake you up--the general subject matter is decidedly adult and the specifics of these aspects of sexuality make this reading for the mature adult, ideally one who is already somewhat familiar with various aspects at the more distant ranges of sexuality. There is nothing really shocking here, but if you don't know what "BDSM" means, or if you've never heard of a foot fetish, you'll be lost from the start.

The four observations are of a foot fetishist, an S&M dominatrix, a convicted pedophile, and an acrotomophiliac (a "devotee" of amputees and paralysis victims).

The foot guy I saw as in deep and maddening denial, unhappy and giving in to think of himself as too many others see him, as a sick freak. His fetish has got him a bit dysfunctional, yeah, but he's not sick, just wired differently. In many ways, his story was the saddest, as he was letting others define him and control him, rather than just being himself.

The dominatrix embraces her "role," but nowhere does she actually admit "I like hurting people. I like humiliating people." She cloaks her justification in new-age BS about empowerment and freedom, all nebulous and euphemistic gunk that doesn't offer what I suspect her truth is: she gets a sexual charge out of inflicting pain and humiliation upon others. (But nothing's wrong with that, as long as everybody is willing, and getting out of the exchange what they want.)

The pedophile's case in many ways is the most accessible. There are aspects of it that are truly ambiguous, while there are others that purely black and white. Bergner provides all kinds of information showing that female physical sexual maturity (puberty/menstruation) comes on early as a result of evolution, and that a male response to this highly visible change is in its own way normal. This smashes against Western societal and cultural norms, as well as set-in-stone legal statutes. While male desire may be awakened, and brought to life just as nature intends it to, acting upon it, while "normal" in a scientifically notional way, is flat-out illegal, and you deserve everything you get if you allow yourself to take that path. Blaming the victim, as we get here, is nothing but wrong.

The amputee/paralysis guy seems to me to be the most honest and straightforward. Sure, he's on the edge of what is normal (yes, what exactly constitutes sexually normal is one of the points of the book), but his actions are not exploitive, nor are they unethical, immoral or illegal. He's found something he enjoys, and he embraces it completely. And it seems the handicapped recipients of this attention also are being tended to fairly and appropriately.

Some comments on this book have used "florid" to describe Bergner's work, and I agree. Some of his contextualizing is too maudlin, relying too much on detailed descriptions of settings, right down to describing office furniture, plants and wall decorations, as if they had something to do with the subjects at hand. At times, some of the contextual narrative came off as sappy human interest TV, without the video.

Bottom line: if the relatively detailed dynamics and vagaries of human sexuality interest you, then this is a book for you. If you're shy and uncomfortable with open discussion of any aspect of, well, you know, then this book might really really work for you, if you're reading it secretly, that is. But if way down deep you don't want to hear about other people's sexual proclivities, yearnings well outside what they taught you about in 7th grade health class, and how those non-mainstream feelings may have developed and become overpowering forces in those people's lives, and that some of these folks are actually very happy with the way things have turned out, then get out your Saturday Evening Post back-issues, and you'll be all set.
Neol
While the subject matter is compelling- what is a "kink", and how does it come about?- this book offers very little in the way of insights or information.

One problem is that the author seems overly credulous: he takes the word of his subjects, be they paraphiliacs or scientists- without weighing what they say against anything else- even published facts, in the case of the pedophile stepfather; one wouldhave thought a journalist, in particular, would have looked up the newspaper accounts sooner rather than later.

A bigger problem, though, is that the writing zooms all over the place. Partial anecdote! scientific study! Interview with therapist! then maybe zooming back to touch on one of the previous before hitting a new tangent! It did keep me unsure of what was going on, which tends to lead to people being more credulous themselves... but I didn't appreciate that; it felt overly manipulative, and the end result was increased confusion rather than understanding.

Not recommended if you want insight rather than "intellectual" titillation.
VariesWent
Society's collective thinking process regarding sexual issues appears fraught with value judgments and tends to vary across both cultures and centuries. The term paraphilia, as first coined by the noted pioneer of sexual research John Money, was meant to be a benign description without regard to negative connotation. A paraphilia describes a nonstandard or unusual sexual interest. Paraphilias are much more common in men, and manifest as recurrent, obsessive and intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies, usually involving an object. A paraphilia is generally specific and unchanging. An example would be an obsessive sexual preoccupation by a man with women's high-heeled shoes. According to Dr. Money, a person exhibiting a full-blown paraphilia may become preoccupied with reaching sexual fulfillment relative to that paraphilia, to the extent of total distraction from other responsibilities, even to the point of dangerous or anti-social behavior.

This book sheds a good deal of light on the subject of paraphilia's and, although "normalization" is not the precise word for what happens here, one's understanding and compassion about the issue becomes greatly enhanced. I heartily recommend it.
Kerdana
This book functions like a sexy version of Michael Pollan's Botany of Desire.

Really it is very veyr interesting, but the description makes you think it is a book heavy on both narrative and science, which it is not. A journalist takes the time to look into the lives of individuals with alternative sexual turn-ons and it is informational but not exactly educational.

A great book for someone who wants to learn more about people with alternative sexual desires, but not for someone who really wants to delve into the topic, especially from a science or research standpoint.
Darksinger
I bought this book thinking that it dealt with desire, lust, and longing in terms of chemicals in the brains or something along that line. Instead, it was about what we call sexually deviant behaviors discussed around four cases: a foot fetishist, a sadist, a pedophile, and an amputee fetishist. Well, I can't say I was disappointed. Not at all. The book shed new lights on them under which I was presented different points of views and forced me to contemplate morality. It's all so fascinating, them brains.